Minty Fresh

“Dad, smell my breath…huuuuuhhh.”

“Why am I smelling your breath David?”

“I got some mouthwash today at the store, it was only 89p,” he said enthusiastically.

“What are you buying mouth wash for?” I said, trying to stifle a laugh.

“I don’t know, it makes your breath smell good, and it helps fight cavities.”

What have you been watching on TV, I started to wonder.

“Is there some lucky lady at school you’re trying to impress?”

“Dad!” he said with a blush.

It wasn’t long before Jessie and Johnny got excited about the bottle of blue stuff.

“Dad, smell my breath!”

“No, smell mine first!”

“Oh, you all smell lovely, fresh as a winter breeze.”

After a week of fresh breath the bottle is now empty. David was in the habit of a rinse just before bed time, and then another in the morning and goodness knows how many shots during the day, ditto for the wee ones.

Who or what conned them into believing they needed mouthwash? I’ve no idea, but I think it might well be time to cut down on the TV. Mouthwash begets more mouthwash and a habit is formed. Manufacturers no doubt believe that earlier is better. Maybe they saw an ad during Saturday morning cartoons?

I hope they’ve exhausted their interest in the stuff and I think maybe they have. After one of her early slugs, Jessie complained ten minutes later, “Dad, I can’t taste it anymore.”

“Yes dear, I know, it doesn’t last very long, does it.”

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