Wee Footery Bits

Scottish phrases continue to amuse me. In the midst of a Scottish monologue, often an unremitting stream of consciousness, I will hear one that is new to me, particularly comprehensible and uniquely descriptive, even if the words are new to me.

One elderly lady Robbie and I visited this week seemed to speak in nothing but Scottish vernacular, truly old school in her manner of speech. She was broad of tongue.

At one point she paused and looked at her hands, waving excitedly to help make her point. “CutoffmeaundsIdbeadummy!” all one word. It took some sorting on my part.

See if you can make it out.

This was the same woman who told us her cabbie advised her to “smoke a joint” to help with her arthritis.

“I told him I wouldn’t know where to find one and he told me just go stand outside the local secondary school and you’ll have no problem.”

I don’t think she’s going to pursue it. Adding “spleef,” and “doobie” and “grass” to her vocabulary would only make it less interesting.

My Aunt is an unwitting dictionary of Scottishisms that she uses liberally and quite unconsciously.

We were talking about my impending need to buy furniture for the family, whose arrival is drawing nearer. IKEA was at the top of the list of potential providers.

“Aye, you can get the beds and a lot of your furniture there, and then get all the wee footery bits later.”

Wee footery bits. I didn’t even need to ask what those were.

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